Monday, August 23, 2004

Back in Pembroke: The Myth, The Legend, The Truth.

I really wish I knew what that title is about, but I have no clue. I moved in on Thursday night with Kyle and Bryan, 2 days before we were supposed too. So much for that "no exceptions" crap they sent us. So far things have been good...we finally got our TV yesterday, so the room is finally complete. The new freshman at my end of the hall seem nice enough, but can they uphold the legacy of Third Floor Pembroke? Only time can tell.

I've been spending way too much time planning rush events, but I guess that's what we have to do.

I still don't think I'm mentally prepared for classes yet, so I guess I need to start focusing on that...but it's soooo hard! I need to go back to my $16k a year job and live off salads again.


Tuesday, August 17, 2004

So here I sit with numbed cheeks...

Got my two cavities filled, what a drag. There's nothing like the taste of sawed off tooth to start the afternoon. Of course the best part is that when I was driving home I found out that I can't say the letter "f" very well, so instead of saying "fucking idiots" when I was cursing out the driver in front of me, it came out as "fwucking idiohts."

And I'm really hungry, and I can't eat. And when I tried to spit out the stuff they gave me to swirl around in my mouth, I couldn't close my lips so the stuff just dribbled out. Fwuck!


You know why I hate living next to a hospital? Because the only people who drive to the hospital are the elderly and the sick, and those are two kinds of people I do not want driving near me.
Things I want to know...

Do women really sit around and talk about the pros and cons of tampons like commercials would have me believe? They seem to enjoy it so much.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

The Tennessee Moustache: Telling Logic to Simply Fuck Off.
- An observation by Eric Domkowski

This summer, when I was still living in SA, the daily paper, the Express News, published an article on how the moustache was no longer considered stylish for white males. In fact, the article was downright mean in regards to those who sport the upper lip fuzz. Now, I grew a fu-manchu last semester as a joke, and it didn't even last a week. I knew, everyone knew, that moustaches simply aren't cool right now. Maybe someday they will come back, but not now, and not in the near future.

Well someone didn't tell the entire state of Tennessee, especially my new hometown, Columbia. Moustaches are badges of pride here. Young men, old men, gay men, straight men...they all have them. It's like they didn't exactly get the memo. Of course, when your Jesus is Dale Earndhardt, and that man had a moustache to put Burt Reynolds to shame, it is understandable. Man, it almost makes me want to grow one. But not really.

The Olympics make me feel like a pedophile
Thank you, the gymnastics competition.

Tomorrow I will hit every pawn shop in this town in a mission to acquire a functional record player before I get back to school. Then I can play some analog bliss.


Life is white, and I am black. Jesus and his lawyer are comming back!

Saturday, August 14, 2004

So, What if you had a movie with Screech, Sinbad, and new music from Van Halen featuring Diamond David Lee Roth?

It would just be THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME. Duh. Jordan and I were discussing this yesterday, and what male, ages 18-35, would not see this movie? Seriously...someone get the Cohen Brothers on this, stat.

Ate at Bucky's again today...superb.

Ok, so I was watching the Olympics today, and I caught the indoor volleyball match with the US vs. China. Anyways, I decided that super excited Chinese women have to be the most irritating thing to watch on TV...even more irritating than Friends.

You know that thing how I forget funny stuff that happened? Well I have this feeling I'm forgetting something hillarious. HILLARIOUS. Like that time a pregnant woman hit on me. Lucky for you I remembered that.

Friday, August 13, 2004

Bud Light vs. Miller Light....

Ok...about this "President of Beers"thing..the Miller commercial says that "In the national taste test, Bud Light drinkers say Miller has more taste"...ok, this is misleading...maybe I'd fall for it if they said "taste better"...but just "taste"? How am I supposed to know what that means? Propaganda!

I like Rouge should buy their I haven't..but I like the mp3 I have.

The Pembroke Reunion/Love Fest is in 5 freakin' days...too much excitment.

Ok, is it just me or was the end part of The Terminator where it's just the robot they gayest thing ever? It reminded me of a bad Japanese Godzilla movie.

Ok, enough of this for tonight.
So I had to break into my flat yesterday...

Because, after an entire lifetime of not having to lock a door, I manage to do so while leaving my keys in my room. So I broke down the screen from the window in the hallway and climbed through it onto my porch and walked in through that door. Hope no one saw me. Actually, I kinda do cause it was sooo James Bondish.

I think I need to change the title of this blog, since I haven't done a cd review in a very long time. But maybe I will, if anything of note comes out.

Seriously, can a movie get any better than this? It features Arnold Scwarswhatever in what seems to be his first attempt at speaking English, and if that wasn't enough, Wilt Chamberlain stars as the evil captain of the queen's guard. This surpasses Kareem Abdul Jabar's role as the light sensative ninja in that Bruce Lee movie as the best-movie-turn-by-a-70's-basketball-legend OF ALL TIME. And to top it off, they have this "maruauder" woman who's sole purpose is to scream and throw a stick. I love it! The best scene is when Conan is supposedly drunk, and Arnold gives his best performance until "Jingle All the Way"...which was a badass movie too, shut your mouth. Whatever happened to Sinbad? I am going to go find out now. Ok, ttyl, stay tuned.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

So what if I don't like either candidate?

Can I call in a pinch hitter? Because to be honest, both of them suck. Despite me Republican tendencies, Bush isn't quite endearing himself to me. Economy sucks, no real grasp on how to end this war (at least publicly), and just plain pissing a lot of people off. And it's bad because he has a lot of values I do...he's just not a good leader. He did a good job after 9/11, gotta give the man credit for that, but after that, it's up in the air. So all signs point to voting this man out of office.


Like I've said before, John Kerry is a douche bag. He flip flops, he runs to celebrities to get votes and is leaning far too much on his running mate to be a convincing leader as well. But sometimes I like him...why? Because he makes good points on Healthcare, which SUCKS ASS in this country, and Bush hasn't done much to improve it. But I can't elect a man just on that basis, can I? I dunno...he's still a wishy washy douchebag.

Someday, there will be a candidate for me. A social conservative who favors total gun control and universal healthcare. Haha...I am sooooo dreaming.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Columbia: Old South Charm, New South Progress...

Um, far be it from me to be an expert on all things, but wasn't the New South thing part of the Civil War? Shouldn't we be beyond this by now? I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I don't think it should be something we should be proud of..."Hey, lookey here, we're on the upswing!" Shouldn't we be past the upswing by now? Am I the only one amazed by this slogan? I think we need a new one, and I will bestow upon my new hometown one I am just about to make up:

Columbia: Where NASCAR is God, and Dale Earndhardt is Jesus.

Ok, something else that is bothering me...I can automatically tell when a car approaching me is driven by a high school age girl. Why? Because they ALL have plastic lei's draped around their rear view mirrors. And it's not like it's just one or two...ALL of them. Is there some sort of symbolism I'm missing here? If you have a lei, does this mean you want to be laid? Should I be activly seeking out this girls for a good time? Of course I'm still not sure if I can hit on the 17 year old girls that surround my apartment...seems sorta wrong.

Tomorrow I will go fishing, since I missed it today due to my dentist visit. Oh, and I found out I don't have dental insurance. Funny thing. But I was still pissed about it.

Love ya!
American health insurance is totally gay
(and not in the happy, rainbow sense, but the totally gay, gay sense)

I had to go to the dentist today, because I have cavities. I don't know why, but I do. Anyways, I get there, and I give them my insurance card, which I have used for every medical encounter I have ever had. So I'm in the chair, reclined, and the front office woman comes up to me and is like "Sir, do you have a dental insurance card? This is a medical insurance card." um....excuse me, but when the hell did dental work not fall under the broad scope of medicine? It's not like if I had to get prostate surgery they'd ask if I had testicular insurance. I'm really pissed about this, for some reason. This is why universal health care is such a good thing. For one, it wouldn't put me in the akward position of trying to explain why I don't have a damned dental insurance card which I didn't think I needed to have since I have FUCKING MEDICAL INSURANCE. Secondly, I WOULDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM. There we go. Call me a socialist, I want universal healthcare. That way I don't have to have Lou Rawls sell me Colonial Penn Life Insurance every fucking minute on AMC. Which, by the way, is not licensed in the state of New York, which means they're missing out on the mother load of old grumpy people.

AND, to top it off, I didn't get to go fishing today. Can this day get any worse? I need more coffee.

BTW, I'm reading a fascinating bio on the Carter Family. I recomend it. Do it now!

oh yes...Jenna Jamison.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Random musing of the night...

The new Hanes underwear I just bought are the most comfortable pair of underwear I have ever had the pleasure of wearing in my 19 years.
I think blogspot is spying on me...

Why? Because when I open up my site, there is a web-ad for Fleetwood Mac tickets. I don't think this is a coincidence. I mean, it's not that I've written a lot about Fleetwood Mac this summer, right? Naaaaah. Or that I haven't listened to anything else? of course not. I'm gonna try an experiment. I'm going to post about Jenna Jamison everyday and see what kind of links I get.

Jenna Jamison.
So today my crazy-ass redneck fishing experience continued...

I broke my own MWF fishing rule by going back out on a Tuesday. What can I say, I was so excited by the prospect of actually catching fish this time that I had to go back out there. AND GUESS WHAT? I caught not one, but two fish. Now, they were little pin fish, the size of my palm, but they were catches nontheless. After yesterday, nothing that happens to me can top being hitting on by the prego, but today something came close. It's around 9am, and I'm fishing off the boat ramp to avoid getting snagged in driftwood. Slowly, an early 90's Lumina, complete with Bondo on the hood, starts to drive down the ramp. First, I move my stuff out of the way. Then I start to think, "hmmm...this guy doesn't have a boat. Either he's going to kill me or kill himself by driving into the river. This will be interesting." As he is getting closer to me, he sticks his head out the window and yells to me "You seen two girls come down here?" Now, let me give you a description of this guy. For one, he has a mullet, standard issue Columbia haircut, and for kicks he's rocking a Dale Jr. T-shirt with holes in it. Now that I'm sure he's not going to kill me, I walk over and go "nope". He grunts and then backs up the ramp. I'm not sure what happened there. As with the situation yesterday, I am left feeling confused and somewhat abused by the society around me. At least he didn't kick my ass because I have earrings.

In sort of the same vein, I got a library card this afternoon. What does this have to do with fishing? Well, when I asked for a card, they wanted to see proof that I lived in this wonderful town, so I gave them my fishing license. Woman goes "Well, this'll work. People have even used food stamps before" I'm not sure that she was implying that having a fishing license is equal to being on welfare, but I was insulted. So what if the only people I've come across fishing have been on welfare? I have earrings! Bitch!

Oh, I'm listening to that Ryan Adams cd I have...still sucks.

The new McDonalds Chicken "Selects" (whatever the hell that means) are pretty good...and they gave me 6 pieces when I only ordered 3...that means I'm very full and now I have to run a lot tonight. McDonald's gives, McDonald's taketh away.

Should I grow my hair out again? I'm seriously thinking about it.


Monday, August 09, 2004

so, in pretty much a collective effort to make me crap my pants...

Nashville's much maligned music scene is bringing me, in the matter of months, Wilco, TV on The Radio, and REM. Plus other stuff I don't even know about! This stuff doesn't happen in SA!

Anyways, sorry I haven't written anything in a while...I guess I've been busy...and by that I mean watching baseball every night if there isn't a good movie on.

So today I went fishing again, with the knowledge that I need turkey livers to catch fish. So I go to Frank's and buy some, and damn it, if those fish didn't bite every 5 seconds...too bad I didn't figure out how to sink the I'm still 0 for eleventybillion in the catch department. But I fed those catfish pretty well, I think I'm gonna start a catfish feeding business, with me as the sole proprieter.

ok, this is the greatest story to happen to me since I came to Columbia. If you're not sitting down right now, do so immediatly.

I'm down there at my spot, just minding my own business. Today was a big day for fishing, we had me, unemployed Mexican man, and random pregnant woman trying our luck on the Duck. Around 9:30, pregnant woman walks over to me. Seems she broke her line and can't get the other line out of the spool. So being a nice guy, I fix it for her. That in itself is pretty ordinary. It's what was said while I was fixing her pole that is worthy of recording for history's sake. Now I promise that everything I write here was actually said to me, as fantastical as it might seem.

Prego: Yup, I'm getting tired of feeding for two here.
Me: How many months left?
Prego: 8 or so. My friend asks if I should get a DNA test, but I know it's his and besides it would be too dangerous now.
Me: (Nervous Laughter) haha, yeah.
Prego: Yup, and when I eat too much the little feller starts kickin' me, like "momma, stop that!" You got any kids of your own?
Me: (More Nervous Laughter) Um, no.
Prego: I need to get a place of my own, I'm only living with him cause I don't have a house of my own. It's so hard to find a good man, you have a kid and they start talking about how they don't want the responsibility and all that shit.
Me: haha, yeah. (wtf?)
Prego: Yup, sure hard to find a good man, you know what I mean?
Me: Yeah. (WTF??? Me, being a man, as it is. So I try to change the subject) You caught anything yet?
Prego: Nope, just you.
Me: (WTMFBAJEZUS? Right now I have no idea what to I hurridly finish up her pole and hand it back, coated with more of my nervous laughter, and she walks away.)

I was hit on by a 30 year old, 8 months pregnant, welfare mother. Is that a good thing? Should I count that as the first bite on my singlehood, or is it second to the giggling freshman girls who kept talking to me when I visited that church last sunday? I really don't know what to think here.

Ok, that's enough for right now. Later.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

So today I did absolutly nothing...

And it wasn't all that bad. Drank too much coffee again...recorded some stuff, watched the Cub's game on WGN. I mean, I caught exactly the same amount of fish I did yesterday, so while it wasn't an improvement, it wasn't a disapointment either.

You know, throughout the day, I keep telling myself I need to write stuff down later, and I forget it. There's so many more funny things I could be telling you all right now, but instead you get this. Ever wonder what you're missing?

I think at a certain age, all old women start to look to same. Provided they're not fat, then it throws everything off.

I am going to go fishing tomorrow and I am not going to catch a single thing. I already know this.

So I cooked a frozen hamburger today, and I thought it was done, and I'm eating it and halfway though I realize it's still pretty red, so I throw it in the toaster oven and cook it all the way. The question is how much of the raw burger did I eat? And if I did eat it, am I going to get food poisoning and e-coli and the like? I can't wait to wake up tomorrow to a case of the mud butt or something to that tune. Stupid frozen burgers.

I'm an SP soldier, microphone holder.


Wednesday, August 04, 2004

So today the fish taunt me...

I see these fish near the banks, so I throw my lure in near them...they swim over to it...they look at it...and then swim away. Needless to say I flicked them off, then realized that was kinda pathetic and was thankful no one was around. Then I saw an aligator. No joke. I will never go in the Duck River. I really need to find a new place to fish.

Finally saw Stacey today, she gave me the grand tour of Columbia, capped off with a great meal at La Hacienda, or "LaHa" as she put it.

I saw the blues brothers tonight and had the urge to pull out my robert johnson cds.


Tuesday, August 03, 2004

So I went to the mall today...

and it was pretty much just me and a bunch of old ladies. I went to the lone "bookstore" in Columbia, which also doubles as a Hallmark store, and bought the August issue of Spin since my subscription doesn't kick in for a while. I found the cd store there, and you know, I can deal with the higher prices here, but to charge $20 for a cd I can get at best buy for $10 is a bit absurd. I know it's tough making a living and since you're the only game in town you can be outrageous, but that was too much for me.

The local music store (instruments) was nice, the guy there was very friendly and eager to help, I guess since I was the only customer in a long while. He helped me find a lap steel instruction book and ordered it for me. Should be in in about a week. Nice.

Tomorrow I will go fishing. And catch nothing, like always.

You know what I saw for the first time in a looooong time tonight? Fireflies. Cool.

I wonder if Jill popped that baby out yet.

I am officially christening this my "Fleetwood Mac and Neil Young Summer"

I have run out of things to write

Word to your mother.

Monday, August 02, 2004

So, Eric, what kept you sane on that 18 hour drive from San Antonio to Columbia, seeing as though you had to follow at huge Penske truck going 65 and being passed by all sorts of vehicles?

Well son, I will tell you.

Here, in no particular order, are the cd's that made up my 12 disc changer on my two day journey.

Day 1 (7/26/04)
The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow
Son Volt - Trace
Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
Some Mix I Made with The Rapture and Michael Jackson
The Dismemberment Plan - Emergency and I
Fleetwood Mac - S/T
Neil Young - On the Beach
Uncle Tupelo - 89/93: An Anthology
Yeah Yeah Yeah's - Fever to Tell
Outkast - Speakerboxxx
Fleetwood Mac - Rumors
Sun Kil Moon - Ghosts of the Great Highway

Day 2 (7/27/04)
Death Cab for Cutie - Photo Album
The Get Up Kids - Something to Write Home About
Counting Crows - August and Everything After
Secret Machines - Now Here is Nowhere
Brand New - Deja Whatever
Outkast - Love Below
Neil Young - Harvest
Modest Mouse - Good News for People Who Love Bad News
Broken Social Scene - You Forgot it in People
Stevie Wonder - Greatest Hits
The Notwist - Neon Golden
Pixies - Surfer Rosa

Well, there isn't really a lot to do here. I pretty much just fish, run, write songs and then commit them to tape before I forget them.
Funny thing...this county is named "Maury County"'d think that it was pronounced like "Mauuuary", i.e. Maury Povich...noooooooooooooooooooooooo. They say it "Murry" I am really not used to the accents here yet...but I have found the local bait shop, so I'm trying to get in good with them there. Speaking of that I am now going to go fishing. Adieu.

P.S. I drink waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much coffee these days. After 2 years without caffine, I'm hitting the coffeemaker like a relapsed heroin addict.