Thursday, October 23, 2003

One of the greatest things ever written about the decline of pop music, and another person who hates Madonna as much as me. It's from

Britney Spears [ft. Madonna]: "Me Against the Music"

Oops! Looks like it's all over for your girlfriend, and it's not just 'cause her fanbase has grown up-- Britney's been accosting all of us too fucking long with her Disney-fried, sub-Abba teen-pop, and now, like the awesomely savage barbarians we are, we want blood. Even her record label seems to want to end it here: they've tossed her "Me Against the Music", one of the greatest disasters in pop music history, as a surefire ship-sinker.
An abomination even by Spears' standards, "Me Against the Music" is rank enough that last weekend's SNL audience was as reluctant to applaud for it as they were to acknowledge Jimmy Fallon's mock-Asian accent. The ridiculously defiant title ambitiously pits her-- not a typo-- against the music, suggesting a final showdown in which Britney suits up to, once and for all, eliminate that colossal aural evil by turning it on itself. It almost works: I think I felt a ripple in the fabric of sound around the 3:30 mark. There are so many subtle intricacies here conspiring to form the ultimate musical horror: the frogthroat effect buried at the bottom of the a capella intro, the blink-and-miss-it prechorus lyric "chic-a-tah" (seriously! like four times!), the orchestra hits slamming like a Fox news update, and-- okay, this one isn't so subtle-- Madonna.

The Material Mom-- desperately paddling to float her own tanking career after bombing with American Life and her recent "Into the Groove" rehash-- follows a dialogue with Britney that actually tops Wendy & Lisa's intro to Prince's "Computer Blue" for most heated inane Lesbian-themed discourse in a song ever. The breakdown is shameless, and not just from the obvious sex-sells angle, as a sultry (did I mention 40-year-old?) Madonna pants, "Hey Britney, you say you wanna lose control/ Come over here, I got somethin' to show ya/ Sexy lady, I'd rather see you bare your soul."

"Me Against the Music" is a true feat: it not only hideously topples "Lucky" in terms of sheer patience-testing, but actually ranks, with ease, among the all-time most devastating pop chart embarrassments: Bobby Brown's "On Our Own" from Ghostbusters II; C + C Music Factory's "Things That Make You Go Hmm" and Twisted Sister's cover of "Leader of the Pack". If there's ever a hall of fame for American culture's laughable nadirs, this one'll have its own room. --Ryan Schreiber

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Back from KY...pretty fun, had some good memories. It inspired me to grow a crazy redneck moustache. It's beautiful, and I'm the first at Belmont to have one. Anyways, to keep with the music theme, the new Death Cab for Cutie is amazing. It didn't get that good of a review on but I'll get mine up soon, a much better review. The contrasts between Transatlanticism and We Have the Facts are readily aparant, but still great music. Also, my faith in a revival of new wave has an embodiment: Interpol. Their cd came out a while back, but seriously, it's brilliant. It's the next logical step for what Mitch and I entitled "Nuwav:o" The second comming of new wave. Hot Hot Heat is part of that, they're like the Cars, Interpol is more like the cure or Depeche Mode. Awesome. Anyways, gotta go watch the series!

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Correction! It's not the tight end, it's the wide reciever. My mistake.
Comming up...BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE REVIEW!! Amazing!!

Wednesday, October 01, 2003


Don't you just love how all my headlines are in all caps today?

I'll admit it. After I heard "The New Year" off of DCFC's new album, Transatlanticism, I was worried. Very Worried. It was too loud, too...too mainstream. I was dreading that this would be their sell-out album and they'd get snatched up by a major label and turn into the next Train. But no fear! The Barsuk website posted "Title And Registration" on their site, and I just downloaded it. Beautiful. This is classic DCFC. It sounds a lot like "405" which was a stunning song, and with Chris Walla's improved production skills this song is amazing. A harken back to We Have The Facts and We're Voting Yes. Wow. And Ben Gibbard isn't resorting to the inane lyrics! Thank God! Something to make me think! Anyways, yes this is a biased review since they are my favorite band, but screw you, this is an amazing song. Let's hope that the rest of the record is like this.

I think this a record for the most posts in a day.
BEST UN-SURPRISE OF ESPN'S PLAYMAKERS - The tight end is gay. Good lord, I knew there had to be a gay one in there somewhere, there was obviously too much heterosexuality oozing from the screen. Why does there have to be a gay one in every show? It's not like they're going out of their way to show an asian person, or anything remotely asexual. hmmm.
IBL, Chris Staples, Map, Starflyer 59 - 9/28/03

Ok, first off, IBL is my new favorite band. At least my favorite Nashville band. Second show I've seen them, they freaking rocked. I was disapointed they didn't play "From Arkansas, with Love," by far my favorite song, but still a rockin' show. I particurally liked "Fat Boys are Not Athletes," which Aaron introduced as "This is not an anti-obesity song." I don't think they'll ever be able to hit the harmony on "A Lot to Say" live, but still a great song. Next up was Chris Staples...nothing special, honestly. Map came on next, and despite what everyone else in my group said, I thought they were awesome. So the girl was just for looks. So the guy was a uninteresing frontman. They reminded me a lot of a less-talented Built To Spill...just like Doug Marstch wants to play blues, so did this guy. You could tell he spent hours practicing pentationic scales in his room, worshiping SRV. He was a great guitarist, better than most indie guys. Anyways, the headliner was Starflyer 59, who I'd only heard some about, didn't know what to expect. He came out and played an acoustic set with the guy from Map accompaning him on electric guitar, providing some nice melodic phrases and fills. Nothing stood out at all, unfortunatly, and as my girlfriend Madeleine said, "It all sounds the same." I think that about sums up that set.

Next show - Broken Social Scene, Oct. 3, 12th and Porter. Be there.