Christmas Eve...

There's this part of me that has to wrestle with the fact that I might indeed be an uncaring jerk, especially around the holidays. I really don't know what my problem is, but I think it might stem from the fact that I'm stuck here in Columbia without much interaction with people that I like, and that in turn, coupled with the sense of utter boredom, makes this quite an unpleasent Christmas season. I used to get excited for Christmas (even last year, but I suspect that was because of my selfish desire to unwrap that iPod -RIP) , but ever since I've gotten home I haven't been very enthusiastic about it. I think my pissed off college student self has gotten the best of me, because I can't stand the commercialism and cheerfulness for the sake of appearences that seems to pervade this time.

Like the whole thing about how Christians are upset because they think that Christmas is being compromised by secular society into something less than holy. I mean, give me a effing break. No one, on Christmas morning, is giving a crap about Jesus. Let's be honest, it's all about the gifts, and the commercialism. They might talk a big game about how Jesus is the reason for the season, but what does Christmas build up to? A huge ass tree and presents and a myth. Let's all just agree what Christmas is now actually about (material things) and quit bitching about loss of meaning. Christmas lost meaning when gifts were given, regardless of the religious symbolism. When it turns to "what did I get" it automatically shuts out what is supposed to be remembered, and tacking it on over a prayer during lunch isn't going to change that fact.

Anyways, I'm just going to go on record and agree with all those who want to call it "happy holidays," because I'm tired of pretending that his day has religious significance, since it's common knowledge that Jesus was born in like April of May, instead of this arbitrary day that was co-opted from some pagans to make them feel better about becoming Christians.

Really, I want to be happy this break. I think that when I get out of here and visit people I love, my mood will change, but right now, I'm just not feeling it.

-ed