Guys, ever had that moment when you think that maybe you're actually becoming a competent man? Where you take a look at yourself and are like, hell yeah, I can take on the world! Bring me the newspaper! I want to watch the News Hour with Jim Lehrer! 9 to freaking 5! It usually occurs when you do something that the world deems "manly," like fix something. Or eat a whole lot of something. Then, just when you think you're awesome, something comes up that you just can't fix or eat, and you feel worthless again. It sucks.
This happened to me today. I was living off the high of fixing my car cd player, and then my dad goes "We're going to fix your car today." Now, I can handle a cd player, but the entire car? SOL. So what this really consists of is me standing behind my dad as he fixes my car's brakes and handing him wrenches and saying crap like "I dunno." All of this is a horribly demasculating experience, which culminates with my dad's acknowledgement that I probably will never do anything like this myself. And it's probably true, but at least I know what a brake pad looks like now. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to drink my black coffee.