To The God of Abraham, Iaasac, and Moses...
And other people with long names...
Hey man, remember back in the good old days, when you were wrathful and smited people and stuff? Lot's wife, pillar of salt? Didn't that feel good? The Tower of Babel? Yeah, that was awesome.
Dude, what happend?
You got all PC on us with all this turn the other cheek and Good Samaratin junk, and you just haven't been the same. Maybe you had some bad experience or something, wanted to make a difference in the world, I understand, happens to the best of us. But now, YHWH, it's time to give that up. I need the old Elohim back, like before you got all warm and fuzzy and started wearing cardigans. People need to be smited, you and I both know it. These people are guilty of the worst possible sin, and they flaunt it in your face under the guise of "praise." Who are these people? The ones who write church songs, and because they run out of any good ideas, they do a key change. God, it's so bad. Like they can fool us with an ascending step key change at the end, please. You and I both know that church music is bad to begin with, and this convention is just making it worse. Lord, I have to be there on Sundays, so let's make it worth my time, ok? Start smiting and make this world a better place.
P.S. About those contradictions in the old Bible, it's cool man, don't sweat it, I got your back.
BTW, totally moved into the new house. The basement rocks, pictures to come soon, along iwth the 2nd installment of the Home Town Musical Saga: Maryville, TN.