Can I get a hell yeah...

For Fiesta in San Antonio?

There's this one incident that will stick with me forever about Fiesta, and King Antonio. It happened when I was probably in 2nd or 3rd grade. We were all sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch, and for those unfamiliar with the SMH cafeteria, it was glass all the way around so that you could see everything that was happening around the campus. Anyways, we were eating, and all of a sudden three police cars, sirens blaring and lights flashing come driving into the campus and out towards the back where the dorms were. Now, having survived 4 years of SMH, there was only one thing that I corellated with police, and that was the arrival of King Antonio.

See, King Antonio visited all the schools around San Antonio during Fiesta. He was usally some rich white guy, and more often than not he was the father or grandfather of some kid at SMH. When he entered a school, he was precceded by SA Police, with their lights flashing etc...like he was some big dignitary. It was sweet because he would give out little plastic coins that had his name on it, and if you were lucky you could score a sweet pin that had some sort of Fiesta symbol on it. It was also cool because we got to waste a lot of time waiting for him to arrive, and then waste more time as he presented the school library with a book. It also meant that we were going to get out of school for the Fiesta parades. All in all, it was a good time.

Anyways, what actually happened that day was some psycho stole a police car and was being chased by actual police and drove it into our campus, which unfortunately for the psycho, did not have any other exits besides the front gate. So the guy gets stuck somewhere in the back and then attempts to flee on foot, only to be captured by the police in what I'm assuming was a pretty epic foot chase. All I'm saying is that I was pretty pissed when I didn't get a King Antonio coin that day.

Like I said, King Antonio is for the rich white guys. For the Mexicans, we have El Rey Feo, or in English, The Ugly King. Here's this years Rey Feo, Ronnie Gabriel:



El Rey Feo was always so much more awesome than King Antonio because they were Mexican and saw the whole fake royalty as what it was; a huge, retarded joke, and had a load of fun with it. Here's to you, El Rey Feo.

-ed