The Whole Chicken
Tales of Turning 21

Today I turned 21. I can now do everything but rent a car and not pay ridiculous amounts for car insurance. But yeah, as far as birthdays go, it was a good one. Nothing really happened until around 5ish, when we all went out to eat at Otter's, and then somehow Tara put Blue Bell ice cream in my freezer w/o me knowing and everyone got to eat the best ice cream in the world.

Later, Mitch, Zach, Viking, Kevin, and I went to the Flying Saucer for my first legally purchased beer. The bouncer wished me a happy birthday. I bought, well I should say Mitch bought, a Grolsch, which is the beer my dad used to drink before I got conscious of what beer was and my mom made him stop for fear of my being turned in to a elementary school drunk. Not a bad choice, dad. It's from Holland and comes in sweet green bottles with a little flip top stopper. Anyways, the best part was this drunk old guy who sat across from us who would toast us randomly and tell dirty jokes. He also told me he uses Grolsch bottles to make wine with pot in it. He was hillarious.

One joke: What's the difference between erotic and kinky? If you're erotic you use a feather, but if you're kinky you use the whole chicken.

Then he said something in Polish and walked away. Amazing.

-ed

Today...

I didn't make my bed.

-ed

$4.98

Went to All You Can Eat $4.98 w/ Tara, Ashley, Stuffy, Viking, Amanda, Lauren, and Charles. It was glorious. I ate way too much. Damn you, egg rolls.

Saw Kory absolutely kill on the keytar on Saturday, and his band still did not win the Other Showcase. What a scam. I think I want to get his band to do my project for Recording Techniques, but I don't know if they'll be free or not. Basically, they are the best musicians at Belmont, and it would be amazing.

-ed

Gnaahh!

http://www.penguinwarehouse.com/

I think this for real? If so, I think we know what I want for my birthday now.

-ed

That's my cousin!

My aunt sent me my little cousin Matthew's 5th grade class picture, and I was so proud of him. Why? Because he's the kid in the front row flashing the little devil horns.

Thatta boy.

-ed

And yes, I have been drinking...

So just when I didn't really think I needed another folky singer/songwriter in my life, I hear this song by Paul Duncan. It's pretty perfect for rainy Nashville days.

Paul Duncan - Oil In The Fields

-ed

BANNED...

You know what should be banned from society? Women wearing pink velour jumpsuits, anywhere and ever. Actually, jumpsuits in general. Let's just agree on this and be friends.

-ed

It's the middle of the day, and my phone is ringing...

I've been listening to this song since break began, and it's pretty freaking awesome.

The Changes - When I Wake

First day of classes came and went, nothing too exciting.

-ed

The Secret Machines

This came on randomly on my iTunes "party shuffle," and I remembered how much I loved it. Enjoy.

The Secret Machines - Sad and Lonely

P.S. Here's a link to Ben Gibbard's solo performance of (This Is) The Dream of Evan And Chan

-ed

Winter Break EP


So here's the entire creative output of my winter break, some ok, some terrible. Some songs need explaination, and all need excuses. First off, I can't sing. Most obviously in my Pedro the Lion cover intro (and countless other instances). The one called "Someday" I recorded 2 years ago, but never mixed it or anything and basically forgot about it until this break when I was looking over old files. So I mixed it, and it's pretty hillariously bad. I think I was going through a phase when I thought that alt-country was awesome and was still bitter about certain things. Of course all my songs still sorta have a crappy folksy feel to them, but that's b/c I don't rock hard at all. The "Water Kissers" song was done in my bathroom w/ my Tascam 4-track, and I have no idea what the lyrics mean. The phrase just sounded funny. Anyways, don't laugh too hard if you do download this.

Download Here
(zip file)

Track Listing:
1. After the Life Rush
2. Rivers
3. Take Me Down
4. Options
5. Oh, Right (New Years Eve)
6. Water Kissers
7. Someday

-ed

Our Girls Are Looking So Good...

And it's my last day in Columbia! Accomplished a few things on my list (I mean, we can't expect me to finish it all, right?), and didn't go insane, amazingly. Back to Nashville tomorrow, gonna see Page France w/ Sam @ the Muse, that should be a blast. Ok, enough! Sleep!

-ed

Hooray for CBS

The TV I have at home gets exactly one channel clearly, and that is CBS. So that means that I ingest a good quanity of CSI and its ilk. As I watched my doubleheader of CSI tonight, I noticed something that really started to piss me off: NO ONE EVER TURNS ON THE LIGHTS.

Am I to believe that these people live their entire lives in the dark? Like, when they go into a house, no matter what time it is, or if it's broad daylight outside, they use flashlights to look at things. Does no one realize that they can turn on LIGHTS? Electric? Florescent? Why? Why do they use flashlights? Just because someone just died doesn't mean the electric service died with them!!

And at work? ALWAYS DARK. I guess it's supposed to add to the show's mystique. But all it does is annoy me. Eff you, CSI.

-ed

Bragel

So Tara introduced me to the concept of the "bragel," or "breakfast bagel" this past week while I was at her house. Basically, it's an egg, some bacon, and a bagel. So I decided to try it out by myself today. It seems that since I've always only made scrambled eggs, no one informed me that an egg will stick to a skillet. And it will burn. So unfortunate. Tomorrow I will correct my mistake.

Details about my trip will come soon, it was a blast. I rode a horse.

-ed

My New Dog!

adopt your own virtual pet!

Just When I Was Coming to Terms With Religious Institutions...

This crap happens. Read the article, then read what I have to say.



So this is just flat out ridiculous. Ever wanted to just yell out curses in the middle of church, just to shock people into reality? Maybe that's just me, but I want to do that to this preacher so badly. This sort of stuff is what angers me so much about The Suburban Christian. They're in an insular world, shielded from, as the preacher puts it "all that revelry going on," and giving themselves a pat on the collective back and giving away a $120,000 house. WTF. Of all the things that a church can do, such as get off its ass and maybe help people, these idiots plan on serving themselves a nice big piece of "We're Holier Than You," complete with "Twelve finalists — symbolizing the 12 apostles," as if they needed religous symbolism to make this act of selfishness palpable.

And this guy who builds it, he charges the church for this? I mean, let those fools do as they may, but at least give the thing away. Or maybe, here's a f*cking good idea, use that $53,000 you used to build a house for a probably non-deserving American family and sent it someplace like Sudan where they are wiping out more Christians than these people can even comprehend. Who actually understand the meaning of sacrifice. Maybe you can save a child from death instead of chanelling money into a f*cking tax write off.

This, this is why I cannot identify, nor wish to identify, with Christianity as it is today. Instead of helping people, these zealots do the best they can to seal themselves off from the world and live like a commune, shielding people from the "dangers" of life, when in reality, they are the most dangerous group of people in the world. In the best possible scenario, whoever wins this thing will sell it and use the money to set up a soup kitchen. Or build a school in Africa. Who knows. In reality, the person who wins this will probably praise God for helping them, focusing on the "me, me, me" mentality of Christians (i.e. "God's plan for MY life"), move into this house and go in to debt decorating it to keep up apperances. All the while praising God's plan for their lives. Disgusting. Please, prove me wrong.

-ed

Road Trip!

So I don't know exactly how this is going to turn out, but hopefully I'm leaving tomorrow, headed for somewhere North. The main objective is to be in Decatur on the 30th. What happens in the two days prior to that is kinda up in the air. Anyways, anyone have any good driving music suggestions?

-ed

So...

Maybe I was a bit overly cynical on the last post, but I do think some of my statements are valid. Anyways, Christmas has come and gone, and all in all today wasn't too bad. My mom bought me a new wallet, but she bought an eel skin one, so it's all shiny and looks like something a pimp would use. So I talked my dad into trading with me. Sorry, Dad. They also got me that book by Bob Katz that I wanted, so I've been going through that most of the day, he has some pretty good pointers.

I'm working on a short story that's turning out to not be very short at all, maybe I'll figure out its direction soon. I don't know how writers are supposed to write, but I find myself not knowing the ending of whatever I write until I get there. I'm just not good at formulating things like fiction beforehand. So yeah, Merry Christmas, world.

-ed

Christmas Eve...

There's this part of me that has to wrestle with the fact that I might indeed be an uncaring jerk, especially around the holidays. I really don't know what my problem is, but I think it might stem from the fact that I'm stuck here in Columbia without much interaction with people that I like, and that in turn, coupled with the sense of utter boredom, makes this quite an unpleasent Christmas season. I used to get excited for Christmas (even last year, but I suspect that was because of my selfish desire to unwrap that iPod -RIP) , but ever since I've gotten home I haven't been very enthusiastic about it. I think my pissed off college student self has gotten the best of me, because I can't stand the commercialism and cheerfulness for the sake of appearences that seems to pervade this time.

Like the whole thing about how Christians are upset because they think that Christmas is being compromised by secular society into something less than holy. I mean, give me a effing break. No one, on Christmas morning, is giving a crap about Jesus. Let's be honest, it's all about the gifts, and the commercialism. They might talk a big game about how Jesus is the reason for the season, but what does Christmas build up to? A huge ass tree and presents and a myth. Let's all just agree what Christmas is now actually about (material things) and quit bitching about loss of meaning. Christmas lost meaning when gifts were given, regardless of the religious symbolism. When it turns to "what did I get" it automatically shuts out what is supposed to be remembered, and tacking it on over a prayer during lunch isn't going to change that fact.

Anyways, I'm just going to go on record and agree with all those who want to call it "happy holidays," because I'm tired of pretending that his day has religious significance, since it's common knowledge that Jesus was born in like April of May, instead of this arbitrary day that was co-opted from some pagans to make them feel better about becoming Christians.

Really, I want to be happy this break. I think that when I get out of here and visit people I love, my mood will change, but right now, I'm just not feeling it.

-ed

Best Albums of 2005...

According to me. I make no apologies.

15. Ryan Adams & The Cardinals – Cold Roses – Never thought I would enjoy a post Whiskeytown Adam’s album, but this is surprisingly awesome. Better than the Jacksonville City Nights album because he doesn’t seem like he’s trying, which is a welcome change of pace.

14. The Russian Futurists – Our Thickness – That reverb that guy uses, it kills me. And his thousand tracked vocals? So cool. So cool.

13. Stars – Set Yourself on Fire – They could have just released the first song, “Your Ex-Lover is Dead” and still have ended up on everyone’s best of list. I’m actually not sure if this is 2004 or 2005, but I just found it, so it’s new to me.

12. Giant Drag – Hearts and Unicorns – Really, this belongs in 1997 alongside a PJ Harvey record. But the best song titles.

11. Death Cab For Cutie – Plans – Seriously, I loved this album. Walla’s production continues to improve, and the melodies are strong, and Ben Gibbard’s voice is still my all time favorite.

10. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! – S/T – I really think they deserved the hype. I hate all the crap that gets said about “influences” which is overplayed by critics. Sure it might sound a bit like NMH, but shit, I think we could all be happy if everything sounded like NMH.

9. Sigur Ros – Takk – Beautiful. End.

8. The Silver Jews – Tanglewood Numbers – I never listened to the Silver Jews before I saw all these write ups about the new album and how David Berman lives in Nashville. I really hope someday I see him at Grimey’s or something, even though I probably would never be able to tell who he was. Anyways, this is awesome.

7. Bloc Party – Silent Alarm – This probably would have ranked higher a few months ago, and really, it should be. It’s as solid as the come; I just really hope they can deliver on the follow up.

6. Broken Social Scene – S/T – The production gets knocked a bit on this album, but I think David Newfeld did an amazing job, coming from an engineer’s perspective, with managing everything, and I loved his use of distortion on practically everything.

5. LCD Soundsystem – S/T – Definitely lived up to the hype, best live show of the year as well.

4. The Juan MacLean – Less Than Human – There was this one point during the Juan MacLean show where John kept flinging apart the two mics he was using during “Tito’s Way” and at the same time the Theremin player would freak out. It was perfect. Just like this.

3. The National – Alligator – I had been high on these guys since freshman year when they played 2NMC, and I really didn’t think anyone else knew about them. This album stayed in constant rotation since its release, a beautiful record from start to finish.

2. Sufjan Stevens – Come On Feel the Illinoise! – This was my album of the year until I saw him live, which was a terribly disappointing experience. But besides that this album is perfect. I remember driving up to I-57 and “Come On Feel The Illinoise” came on just as I hit the entrance ramp. Tears of joy.

1. Wolf Parade – Apologies to the Queen Mary – When I first heard this album, I was in awe. I downloaded “You Are A Runner” a long time ago on the Sub Pop website, but I didn’t give it much of a listen. I was an idiot. Hands down the most exciting release of 2005.

-ed

Why is it...

That whenever I have a dentist appointment coming up, I brush my teeth about 50 times more than I usually do, thinking that all this concentrated dental care will make up for my lack of it the past year? Maybe, just maybe, I'll fool them tomorrow.

Do I floss? Why, yes, yes Miss Dental Assistant, I have been flossing, can't you tell?

Oh, of course sir, it looks like you've been doing it for at least 3 years!

Sweet.


-ed

P.S. That will totally not happen tomorrow.