someday, when I have $2,500 to throw around...I will own a Gretsch White Falcon. *sigh* too bad this thing doesn't allow for pictures, or I would post one.

What I hate about my job...

no, it's not the things like the early hours, or the bad coffee.

It's things like how I have 5 feet between my desk and the one behind me, but my fat boss manages to run into the back of my chair everytime...or how parents wonder why their kids can't spell when they are spelling their names phonetically like a retard...come on, you name him D'Schuwan and you wonder why he fails...idiots...I saw 5, count them, 5 different spellings for "Michelle".

Also, God have mercy on my soul, but I utterly despise Christian school names...after having to audit the entire American Association of Christian Schools, I am growing tired of all these "Heritage Christians"...look, if you've been a school for 2 years with 10 students you don't have a heritage. There were other offenders, but I have banished them from my mind.

And I haven't forgotten about the glorious "Worst things in music" list...here's a sneak peak...BARBARA STRIESAND.

Also, if anyone wants a cd copy of my greatest songs ever, I will gladly provide them with one.

Peace

Yeah...didn't win the lap steel...I put my max bid at $330...sold for $335...I think I blew my ebay good luck with the zztop t-shirt. So I think I might have to buy it at full price from somewhere...and that chaps my ass man, it really does. Not only would I have gotten it for $20 less than Musicians friend, but I would have gotten free shipping...dang.

Next week, there will be the unveiling of the grand list of "The Worst Things in Music in the Past 100 Years" Not that I have 100 years worth of musical knowledge, but I just didn't want to leave any room for error.

Madeleine comes home tomorrow! Yes!

"Name me someone ridiculous, Danny Richmond!"

"Eiesenhaur Nazi Fascist Supreme!"

"2, 4, 6, 8 they brainwash and teach you hate!"

Oh, I just love Charles Mingus.

The Chandler Lap Steel is mine in exactly ONE HOUR...as long as no one bids over $330. Bastards (copyright Jordan).

ok, I lied, the triumphant return is today, the 20th.

Aaaaaaaaaaand...I'm back.

Yeah, I can't believe it either...it's been a while. So why am I returning, you ask? Ah, good question, young lady. I return to bring you my list of the fifteen greatest songs ever.

Another list? Didn't you already exhaust yourself with that stupid "Top songs of the 90's?"

No.

Now, this list is kind of different. It's not enitirely based on musical value, but more on the value these songs have to me personally. I had a few criteria for this list, not just compiling ever 90's alt-rock song like I did last time. First off, the song had to be known to me for over a year (a rule that I make an exception for for a few songs). I wanted songs that had lasting power. I'm in love with "Staring at the Sun" by TV on The Radio, but I've only had the cd for 2 months or so, so I don't want to go calling it a classic just yet. I mean, there was a time in my life I would have sworn "Tomorrow's Another Day" by MxPx was a work of art. You can understand my hesitance to champion anything fresh in my mind. Second, it had to have some emotional value. These songs had to be more than just great melodies, they needed to bring some sort of feeling or memory to me at their opening chords. Third, they had to be awesome. Ok, that said, I present you with the Greatest Fifteen Songs of ALL TIME.

1. "The City" - The Dismemberment Plan - Sometimes there are songs that you hear and you go "Shit, that's me." This is one of them. I first got this cd before I left for college, but I didn't understand the lyrics of this song until I had been on my own for a while. Travis Morrison, the singer, has an amazing way with words, and this is his finest moment, describing the utter lonliness of being abandoned and living alone. This song, while one of the greatest breakup songs ever, hits on so many more levels, and I challenge those who are in college to try to listen to the first verse and not feel like he's talking about you. On a personal level, I always get an urge to play this song whenever I'm away from my girlfriend for an extended period of time. I don't relate to the last part of the song, but something about "The city's been dead/since you've been gone" makes me want her back with me more than ever. Needless to say, this song got a lot of spins last week.
"Sometimes I stand alone on my roof at night/and watch as something seems to happen to someone else/I wish that a breeze/ would pick me up and carry me away."

2. "The Stars are Projectors" - Modest Mouse - This entire list could be overrun with Modest Mouse songs, but I chose the one that has found more plays on my stereo than any other one. At nearly 9 min, this song takes you on so many twists and turns, and most bands would be lucky to have an album's worth of material as good as this song. If this cd is in my changer in my car and I'm driving at night, I always turn it up, lower my windows and sing at the top of my lungs. I know, I'm a bit off.
"The stars are projectors/projecting our lives down to this planet Earth/Everyone wants a double a feature/they all want to be their own damn teachers"

3. "Lowell, MA" - Death Cab For Cutie - This song is so important to me because it taught me to enjoy melodies. Before this song, I was a total punk rock kid, as were many of us, stupidly. I was convinced everything needed to be fast and loud. This song hit me over the head and opened my ears to so many more things. DCFC is one of the most influential bands ever for me musically and I owe what little sense of melody I have to listening over and over to Ben Gibbard songs. Scary!
"Don't go holding out on me now."

4. "Close to Perfect" - Homesick for Space - Ok, here's what I meant about what songs not being classics, or musically astounding. This band is the most influential band ever as far as my musical tastes now. I came across a review for this 5 song EP on some punk website a few years back and decided to give it a try. I burned a copy of this song to a cd before I had ever listened to it, along with a bunch of hardcore songs. To think that I heard this song in the middle of a mix of hardcore is humorous unto itself, but this song blew me away with it's melodies and drumming. Falsetto...I'd never thought about that before. This band opened my ears to other acts like DCFC and Sigur Ros...and of course that led to everything else.
"And we turn too slow/These days come and go"

5. "Olsen Olsen" - Sigur Ros - I remember my first taste of Sigur Ros like it was yesterday. It was a clip of them playing "Untitled 1" and it was low grade, audience tape recorder quality, with talking in the background. I was floored by it and immediatly bought their "Untitled" cd. But I didn't find this song until Madeleine gave me that "A-blah b-blah blah" cd for Christmas one year. This song stayed on repeat on my stereo for nearly a day. If I ever just want to chill out, I throw this on and make a glass of tea and just meditate. Amazing.
(Not a real language....wait..."da da da da da da da da da da")

6. "Look Away" - Hootie and the Blowfish - As my favorite band before my forgettable punk-only years, Hootie and the Blowfish, though despite the crap I get from people these days, rocked. This is an obscure track of their major label debut, and it's so beautiful that I challenge all the Hootie naysayers to listen to this song and not at least come away with some respect for them.
"Saw her standing there/tears upon her face told me something was wrong"

7. "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" - U2 - I get chills still when I hear this song. Enough said.

8. "Train in Vain" - The Clash - This is where The Clash showed they were a truly great band, in my opinion. Arguably the greatest punk band ever, they wrote this amazing pop song, that should be counted as one of the greatest songs, period, genre nonwithstanding. I saw a country band, Two Tons of Steel, cover this song, and it translated as well in that style as it does in the original, the proof of a great song.

9. "Black Lung" - Rancid - Ok, one pure punk song makes the list. Rancid are great, and I still hold to that even now, and this is my favorite song by them, by a longshot. I listened to this before every soccer game my junior and senior year in high school and I never got tired of it. The bassline drives this thing and the call and response chours is perfect.
"Hey unbeliever/Hah! Black Lung Fever/Transmit reciever/ I don't like you either!"

10. "The Seed 2.0" The Roots ft/Cody Chesnutt - A cover of an original Chesnutt song, this thing broke my year rule by just flat out kicking musical ass. As my buddy Jon A pointed out, the innuendo is perfect. If all rap-ish songs were this clever, the genre might have a leg to stand on (props to Outkast for delievering such an album this year).
"I push my seed in your bush for life/I take my time because I'm pushing it right"

11. "Haitian Fight Song" - Charles Mingus - I love jazz, no exceptions. More specifically, I love jazz with great basslines. Charles Mingus was a bass player. Ergo, this song has an amazing bassline. I will hold to the day I die that this man was a musical genius worthy of mention with Beethoven and Mozart, though I doubt anyone will go with me on that, due to the musical sonbbery I wish didn't exist. "How could a black bass player from Arizona be as worthy as Beethoven and Bach? Ludicrous!" Well sir, you have your gods, I have mine. BTW, Bach sucks. Beethoven wasn't too bad. Debussy was better.

12. "Airegin" - Grant Green/Sonny Clark - More jazz! One of my first jazz cd's, the opening track caught my attention right away. There's this tension near the end of the song after the drum fills, and then the guitar comes in with the main melody again and just levels entire cities with the groove on it. Again, one of those that has more emotional value than musical, yet still a great song.

13. "Cold Shot" - Stevie Ray Vaughan - I have my grandfather to thank for my SRV addiction. When I was 11 or 12, he gave me a cd that came with his new computer that had a bunch of songs on it from Sony artists. Most of it was crap, with people like Gloria Estefan and Alice and Chains, "Couldn't Stand the Weather" by SRV was on there, and seriously, this moment has had more influence on me (indirectly) than any other incident in my life (so far). I quit playing classical guitar, bought a strat and proceeded to immerse myself in blues and jazz for a good 3-4 years. Imagine if were still playing classical guitar. You can't? Me neither. I can't imagine my life before SRV. That's heavy, man.
"That's a cold shot baby, yeah, that's a drag."

14. "First Tube" - Phish - Man, I get so much crap for liking Phish in college, despite being the perenial pot smoking college band. This song flat out grooves for like 9 minutes, building on the main riff. The synths bleet and splat all over the place, and the bass is relentless. Too bad they're breaking up, I think I'll go buy their new cd, just to piss off all my friends. Hey, remember that time I played this during a poker game and everyone got mad at me? Yeah, that was great.

15. "Good Morning, Aztalan" - Los Lobos - I really connected with this band, being from such a heavy hispanic town like San Antonio...and another one of those bands I get crap about. This is from the album of the same name from pretty late in their careers, and the driving drum beat really sells the song. I remember going to their concert last year and saying to myself after they finished their set, "There's no way they won't play this for the encore." Sure enough, they busted this thing out in the packed confies of Gruene Hall and pretty much made my life a much better place. I left right after that because I realized it couldn't get much better, ever.
"I gotta say 1, 2, 3 more things before I go on."

In the next few days, I will list the top 15 worst songs ever, beginning with every hair metal ballad ever written. Warrant, you're a marked band, son. Sister Christian would rap your knuckles while you picked every rose thorn out of your ass, you pansy. You thought it was clean, but no! Every rose has it's thorn.

HOLY CRAP HAVE YOU HEARD? THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF THE FIREWHEEL PROJECT BLOG...JUNE 21ST, 2004. BE THERE.

I Don't Understand "Texas" Music

Really, I just don't get it. It's nothing special. I have seen both Jerry Jeff Walker and Robert Earl Keen, the monsters of Texas Music, and I have left both shows very unimpressed.

Perhaps it wasn't the right venue. I saw JJW at the San Antonio Rodeo, complete with amazingly cheesy revolving stage, and I saw REK at Vanderbilt's Rites of Spring, with the place in a decidedly damp mood after the afternoon's downpour of rain.

Maybe both are past their prime. These guys are old. REK looked like he could have cared less about the show. JJW just looked half dead.

Perhaps it was the uninspiring music. I think that unless you now every word by heart, these shows aren't fun. Like I said about REK; he didn't look very happy to be there. That doesn't translate well for the audience. At least the guy on before him, Matt Wertz, gave it his all.

Anyways, give me Two Tons of Steel anyday for my Americana fix.

Au Revoir.

I HAVE CONQUERED EBAY
Here is an hour by hour account of my first experience winning an eBay auction...

2 pm: I see that a vintage ZZ Top t-shirt is for sale for $20. Being an absolute ZZ Top freak, even to the point of suggesting that we play "Just Got Paid" at a church retreat, I feel the shirt is well worth the $20.

3pm: Check the shirt again. No one has bid yet. I am excited.

3:05pm: I realize that the shirt is probably too expensive for the average bid-stealing jerk. I am feeling better about the auction.

3:30pm: I try to sign up for a free service of Auctionsniper that Jessi told me about. Keeps telling me that my account doesn't exist. I know for a fact that this is a lie, since I am signed into eBay as I attempt this maneuver. Much cursing the internet follows and I decide to do it the hard, honest way.

5pm: I go to dinner. Still no bidding. I am picturing me walking around campus and people going "Man, what an awesome shirt."

5:25pm: I rush back to my computer to place a bid since I will be in the studio for an undetermined time. I put my maximum bid at $30. I am the first bidder.

7pm: I return from the studio to find that I am still the only bidder. I can see the shirt fitting tightly over my huge muscular arms while I am hanging out with Dusty Hill.

8:16pm: I return from playing basketball to see that I am still the only bidder. only 50 minutes remain in the auction.

9pm: I sit glued to my computer screen, refreshing every 10 seconds. I have not been this nervous since last night when I did the same thing with a Van Halen t-shirt (see yesterday's entry)

9:05pm: I am now the proud owner of a vintage ZZ Top "El Loco" t-shirt. Much rejoicing. I only had to pay $20. I start singing show tunes cleverly changing the lyrics to reflect my newfound love of eBay. I pay the guy. The shirt is mine. The shirt is MINE.

Tomorrow the cycle repeats with the bowling shirt. Let's keep this winning streak alive, baby!

Gracias.

WHY I HATE EBAY

Because I always get outbid at the last second. It's not like I'm not willing to pay the money, just some creep who waits until it says 2 seconds left always beats me. There should be some rule that says that you have to bid at least once in the hour before the auction ends to have a shot in the last second. I have never won anything on Ebay...ever. It is really frusterating. I see all these happy people winning crap from ebay on commercials, how come my experience doesn't drive me to sing show tunes? Is everyone so goshdarn happy with this system but me? Today, I found this great vintage Van Halen t-shirt. NO ONE BIDS ON IT BUT ME IN THE 6 DAYS PRIOR TO THE AUCTION ENDING. One min left and I'm the only bidder. 30 seconds left I'm the only bidder. 20 seconds left some jerk ups it by 50 cents. I rush to up it, only to have to sign in (damn you security features) I manage to get my bid in. I think I've won. NOOOOOOOOO. some dude, never bid before, ups it and wins. I DESPISE YOU, s_beck1. I hope the shirt shrinks in the wash and the iron on transfer peels off...all things that would not happen had I won this auction. This same thing happened to me when I tried to buy an Epi Mandolin during x-mas break. price stays steady for 6 days...last minute the thing's price goes up $150, after only increasing $50 in the previous 6 days. WHY???? Currently I'm in the bidding for a gold lame smoking jacket ($5), 1950's bowling shirt ($1) and a 1950's leather jacket ($1). I have no doubt I'll get screwed over yet again at the last minute. But I'll keep trying until I win at least one thing. Seriously, why would anyone want a men's small bowling shirt be me, and me alone? I think I'll be the jerk and wait until 2 seconds left to bid... I'll do it Ebay. Which means being a douche and ruining the dreams of a young college student who's only goal in life was to buy a vintage Van Halen shirt. Because I spent all day reading Dante's "Inferno" I know there is a special circle in hell for people like that, and it's called "YOUR SHIRT IS GOING TO SHRINK AND YOU'LL BE TOO FAT TO WEAR IT YOU JERK."

Thank you.

EBAY STRIKES BACK

I think just to taunt me, EBay sends me an outbid notice this morning. LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ALREADY. This isn't over, Ebay, it's not even close to over.

blah

CD's I Never Gave a Chance That I Am Listening To Now:

I dunno if anyone else does this, but I'll buy a cd and then listen to the first song, deem it sucks, then never listen to it again. I have decided that this is grossly unfair of me and I'm seeking the repay the injustice I have inflicted on these artists who had this misfortune of having crappy opening tracks.

1. Lake Trout - I bought this thing in January. I got pissed that it sounded just like Ok Computer from the get go. Now I'm listening to it right now, and it's not half bad. Not original, but not half bad.
2. The Shins - I know everyone is all crazy over the shins. I'm not. A decent band, but nothing to get excited about. Listened to them a few hours ago, still not totally impressed.
3. The Walkmen - Ok, this was a mistake on my part. I listened to the first Walkman cd, thought it was unremarkable, and forgot about them. Then I heard a lot of hype about their new cd so I bought it but didn't get into it right away. Now I love it. It's awesome. Go buy it.

Time for the NCAA championship, gotta go!

A Look Back in Time, Part II

This installment begins a series of entries in which I take a look back at all the mix cd's I made in high school and ask "What could I have possibly been thinking?"

Disc One - my friend Cody made this thing for me out of mp3's I had since I didn't have a cd burner. My first mix cd ever.

Track 1 - Sublime - "Summertime" - this song just grooves...still passes the coolness test all these years later
Track 2 - Ramones - "Carbona not Glue" - um...they were innovators? I dunno.
Track 3 - Phish - "Lawnboy (Live)" - This song started my interest in Phish. Trey's guitar playing was insane. It totally does not fit in with the rest of the tracks on here...at all.
Track 4 - Me First and the Gimmie Gimmie's - "Science Fiction" - I didn't realize this was a cover song until a few years later. Kinda sucks.
Track 5 - Incubus - "Pardon Me" - Ok, first off, I hate it when this song gets lumped into the rap-rock category. I heard this song on KTSW and I was floored. Too bad they haven't done anything interesting recently. The new cd is horrible, and makes me wish for the days of informed social commentary.
Track 6 - Creed - "My Own Prison" - I am ashamed.
Track 7 - 311 - "Beautiful Disaster" - wow, a veritable rap-rock song. Well, not really. But close enough.
Track 8 - Beastie Boys - "Paul Revere" - I used to be able to rap this whole song. I can get pretty close still.
Track 9 - Ramones - "Carbona not Glue" - makes a repeat appearance. Cody, you tard, learn how to use a cd burner.

And that concludes this installment of "A Look Back in Time." I hope you enjoyed it.

A Critic's Response
Jon Alaniz, a man who I hold in high regard when it comes to hip-hop matters, had these words to say about my list:

Zinala85: ok, lets get something straight
Zinala85: The Seed 2.0 is one of the GREATEST SONGS ever
Zinala85: i mean "ill push my seed in your bush for life"? thats brilliant, and provocative writing
Zinala85: NEVER, EVER PUT IT ON THE SAME SONG LIST AS "gigilo" by "Piss on your face" Kelly and his apprentice, Nick Cannon
Zinala85: Also, P.I.M.P. hot song
Zinala85: more reason for "gigalo" not to be there
Zinala85: and Tupac
Zinala85: he's dead eric, show some respect

Thank you, Jon A, for your commentary. Despite your dislike of R Kelly, I hold the Giggolo is a worthy song to be played during the Atlanta drive.

I'm out!

Hotlanta Hot Traffic Jam Hot Mix
So, Eric, you might ask...how did ya'll survive driving through the hell that is Atlanta traffic? Well, I made this mix cd of some hits that let us blend in like a US Marine in the Bay of Pigs. I give you, the Hotlanta Hot Traffic Jam Hot Mix:

1. "The Way You Move" - Oukast
2. "Party All The Time" - Eddie Murphey (yes, that Eddie Murphey)
3. "Rosa Parks" - Outkast
4. "Seed 2.0" - The Roots (w/ Cody Chesnutt)
5. "Change Clothes" - Jay-Z and DJ Danger Mouse
6. "Whoomp There It Is!" - Tag Team
7. "P.I.M.P." - 50 Cent
8. "Stand Up" - Ludacris
9. "California Love" - 2Pac
10. "Hell Yea" - Ginuwine
11. "Yeah" - Usher (ft. Little John and Ludacris)
12. "So Fresh, So Clean" - Outkast
13. "Just A Friend" - Biz Markie
14. "Wanksta" - 50 Cent
15. "Church" - Outkast
16. "Tennessee Boys" - Grits
17. "Wanna Get To Know Ya'" - G Unit (ft. Joe)
18. "Giggolo" - Nick Cannon (ft. R Kelly)

Lest you doubt the effectivness of the mix, ask me how many akward stares we recieved while going through downtown Atlanta. How many? Zero. And Jo Haag...you're going down old man, you're going down hard.

Peace.

It's Valentine's Day!
Or as my buddy Ryan says, S.A.D: Single Awareness Day. But that pimp has a date so I don't know what he's complaining about. So what are some good V-Day songs? Let's think....first off, "Love Song" by the Cure. I don't think the average public knows just how great a, yes, love song this is. 2nd..."Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye. I don't need to explain that one. 3rd...I dunno I ran out of ideas, it seemed like a good one at the beginning. Anyways, I'm listening to Logh's Everytime A Bell Rings An Angel Gets It's Wings...best band to come out of Norway, in my opinon, that isn't Death Metal.

New Shizzle From Sigur Rosizzle!
Yes, they released the Ba Ba Ti Ki Di Do EP on iTunes. What the title means, I have no freaking clue. It's the music from the dance thing they did in conjunction with Radiohead. They are keeping with what a like to call the "twinkle bell" sound of their Hellemur (sp?) soundtrack they did this summer, so it's quite a departure even from ( ). It takes a few listens to get used to, and overall is not their best work, but it is worth the $3 to download from iTunes if you're a serious fan (like me).

New Shizzle From Modest Mouseizzle!
I saw this thing where some black guy was saying the -izzle thing wasn't cool anymore cause the nanny said in on an old navy commercial. So that means I can say it now
Modest Mouse just released their new single "Float On" on iTunes as well. Even with the departure of Jerrimiah Green on drums, the band has never sounded better. It's got this crazy major key thing going, quite unlike anything they've ever done...it's almost happy. In fact, it is happy. Is this the same band that gave us "3rd Planet?" Anyways, it rocks.

Damn, The Moon and Antarctica by Modest Mouse is a good record...still.

You know what song is awesome? " Your Woman" by White Town.

Oh, you know it, sing it..."I will never be your woman..."

But was the singer a man or a woman? So hard to tell.

Bad Omission! I totally forgot to consider Broken Social Scene's You Forgot It In People for the top 10 records, and it's easily in the top 5. My fault...go buy it.

Been back in Nashville for a week or so now. It snowed today, very cool. Oh yes, here is my list of the top 10 records of 2003.

10. The Polyphonic Spree - The Beginning Stages Of...
9. Hot Hot Heat - Make Up The Breakdown
8. The Strokes - Room On Fire
7. The Mercury Program and Maserati - The Confines of Heat
6. Robert Randolph and The Family Band - Unclassified
5. Death Cab For Cutie - Transatlanticism
4. The Rapture - Echoes
3. The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Commatorium
2. Sun Kil Moon - Ghosts of the Great Highway
1. The Postal Service - Give Up

And My List of The Best MP3's I came across in 2003. (In no real order)

1. Wheat - "I Met A Girl"
2. Debussy - "Arabesque #1"
3. Imaginary Baseball League - "From Arkansas, With Love"
4. Anathallo - "A Song For Christine"
5. Arab Strap - "Girls of Summer"
6. The National - "Murder Me Rachel"
7. The Russian Futurists - "Crumble"
8. Coldplay - "Clocks (Royksopp Trembling Heart Remix)"
9. mewithoutyou - "bullet to binary"
10. Death Cab For Cutie - "Photobooth"
11. The Album Leaf - "The MP"
12. Bexar Bexar - "winter99"
13. Ladytron - "Seventeen"
14. Outkast - "Hey Ya!"
15. Godspeed You Black Emperor - "Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antnnaes To The Sky"
16. Sufjan Stevens - "Say Yes! to M!ch!gan!"

And There you Have It. Love,
Me